6/16/09

Houses and Jobs and Babies - OH MY!

To pick up where I left off, Pat and I were in the midst of dating some houses and having a monstrous time finding anything we liked. After dating three that seemed like winners, we finally decided to make a commitment to one and marry the house! -for at least a few years, then divorce it when we get tired of it! We ended up looking in a neighborhood that's only a smidge OTP, right outside I-285 on the border of Stone Mountain and Decatur. Yes, that's right, we're moving OTP. Duh-Dah-DUUUHH!!!!!

Looking in those neighborhoods was like a trip to the Final Frontier on the verge of the unknown! We've been so ITP, that how people exist outside of I-285 is such a mystery to us! Realistically, the neighborhood that we settled on is only a few minutes away from the house that we originally put an offer on, and only ten minutes away from where we live now. So, it may be the Final Frontier, but not that far from areas that we've been living in for years! We were really surprised to find a diverse selection of houses that were huh-yuge! There was one house that looked GORGEOUSLY quirky from the pictures. It had a giant cactus and succulent terrarium adjacent to the sink in the kitchen, a Lord of the Rings-worthy fireplace, and even had a "secret room" (or "grow room" -hee!) that could be accessed from one of the bedrooms. Although these things made this a very intriguing house, there were a multitude of problems. -mostly stemming from the fact that all of the "improvements" seemed to be done after hanging out in the "Secret Room". ;o)


BEHOLD the mighty cactus and succulent terrarium!


Pat: "Dude! I think I found the entrance to the secret room!
Our Realtor: "Where? Oh my gosh! It IS a secret room!"



Regina: "Um, you KNOW they grew weed in here. Right?"

The house that we ultimately fell in love with was an updated 60's ranch that was just waiting for our touch of retro! Ironically, it was just down the street from the "secret room" house. It was owned by a general contractor, so the improvements made to the house were actually improvements! The only thing we had to do to make us happy was install wood floors and gutters and paint! The seller even went down almost ten grand in price the same day we put in an offer. So far, so good! Right?


Our house! -more on that later...

Then the shit hit the fan. Everything was going well with the house. The seller agreed to fix everything we wanted him to fix. We had just got all of our loan info together and were just going to get the house appraised when I got a call from Pat. He got laid off! Poor guy! He had been working at this company for six months, just got a raise, then got dropped like a hot potato. No two weeks notice, no severance package, no "Well, we may be able to hire you on again when things are good." -just a severance letter that would allow him to collect unemployment. Fuckin' economy! I totally freaked out and told Pat that we should call off buying the house, but after some MAJOR forethought, we decided to put the house in my name. Luckily, the payments were still going to be manageable on my income and our interest rate wasn't going to be much higher. We were so relieved that we had dodged that another bullet! We joked to all of our friends saying, "Well at least I'm not pregnant!"........I should watch what I say in the future.

One week later, Pat and I decided to go "Apocalypse Shopping" at Walmart for some frozen and canned goods and such. We were kinda freaking out and figured it would be a good time to stock up, since we were NEVER going to leave the house again! I was walking through the Feminine Needs aisle when I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had my monthly visitor. I have an irregular cycle anyway, so I chalked it up to stress and the possibility that I was having a 40 day cycle. Just to be sure, we bought some pregnancy tests anyway. I had been off the pill for almost a year and was taking a test every few months. So, I didn't really think much about this particular test. I "prepared" it and set it on the tub. 5 minutes later, I took a look at the test and there were no lines! I was about to get totally pissed that I had bought some cheap, crappy tests when I realized that that my dumb-ass was looking at the wrong side. I flipped the test over and two bright pink lines were staring back at me! Ironically, the only thing that could sedate me was watching Baby Boom, that silly 80's movie with Diane Keaton, on OnDemand . I had to watch someone get thrown into motherhood and come out on top! -even if it was a fictional movie that didn't make a lick sense. Has anyone ever noticed that the baby in that movie NEVER grows up while her mom builds her baby food empire!? Oh the 80's....I digress.

Later, I went to the doctor and discovered that I was, in fact, pregnant! -8 weeks, to be exact! We even heard the heart beat already. Here is a picture of our little nugget:


Ah, the miracle of life!

So, that's just this month! Who knows what will happen next. So, the kid wasn't exactly planned, but that's kinda how we were wanting to have one anyway. We always said we'd welcome the "mistake" child. The more we thought of our situation, the more we realized that the only thing we didn't plan was Pat getting laid off! Plus, I've got to be proud of my kid for having my comedic timing, entering into existence at an inopportune moment! If I've learned anything from this experience, it's that I should appreciate the irony that exists in my life. I used to think that all of the shit that happens to me is because of some Karmic Debt that I have occurred (maybe it still is), but I've gotten to a point where I don't feel like God is smiting me anymore. -and I'm happy about that! In the end, nothing really matters, as long as you've got people who care about you and you have people to care about!

5/1/09

Rejina

I would never, ever require Pat to tattoo my name on himself. Although, if he did, I hope it looks nothing like this:


Click HERE for the original post.

I'm really glad that Pat has awesome taste in Tattoos and I'll never have to discover this monstrosity!!! :o) You can find more bad and ugly tattoos HERE at the Horrible Tattoos blog.

Where Black People and White People buy Furniture

My friend (who's Black) e-mailed this to me (who's Asian) and my husband (who's White) laughed until we were blue (not really)!


Sounds totally fake,right? I shit you not, this is a REAL company out of North Carolina!!! I don't really know how they got affiliated with this online comedy duo, Rhett & Link, but it's AWESOME that they did!

4/30/09

Buying a house is like dating online...

Pat and I have been looking for a house to buy for what seems to be an eternity. We have a decent chunk of change squirreled away and figured, "Hey! Everyone says NOW is the time to buy!" So why not? So we jumped in with both feet and started looking at houses. Just like planning a wedding, no one ever talks about how much looking for your first house can suck....badly. Everyone's eyes glaze over when you're a newlywed and you mention that you're buying your first house. Automatically, images pop into their heads of an emerald green lawn with 2.5 children and a giant, drooling Golden Retriever playing on it, while you and your husband are planting flowers and shit next to your giant-ass house. Hell, that's what pops into mine thanks to that damn American TV (except my beautiful Pit Mix replaces the Golden!)! Then reality sets in...

After scoping out the Atlanta/Decatur housing market for months, we came to the realization that we're just not getting that "American Dream-house" in our price range! In the city, we can only afford a house that's a quarter of the size of what we want, but that's what buying a first house is all about right? Compromise. Could we trade living in a 1,600 sq. ft. house for one that's 995 sq. ft.? Could we buy a house that has more space, but needs a LOT of work? Could we buy a house that's perfect, but happens to be right next door to a crack house? Eh????

While we mull over these questions, we look online for houses, which is blinding when you see 500 at a time. Photos that look promising, rarely represent what the house is like in real life. It's like looking at photos of people on online dating sites. You find a someone that looks promising, then realize upon meeting that he has severe halitosis, has no conversation skills, chews with his mouth open and forgets his wallet at home! However, sometimes you do get lucky on those dating websites. Eventually, we did find a house we were smitten with and the house was even better than the pictures! BUT, when it came to the negotiation process, we found out that the sellers were really snobby and weren't willing to haggle. I was told that they were waiting for a person to come along who just got a huge inheritance that was willing to pay cash for the full asking price! FAT CHANCE, losers! The ironic thing is that three days after I heard that, a man who just inherited a large sum of money offered them cash for the full price! Coincidence? I think not!

Well, maybe it’s not the house, it’s us? Maybe we and the houses are just not compatible! I’ve been delving deep into Numerology lately and I’m kind of pissed that I have. There’s a kind of snobbery involved with reading this shit. Like, “we don’t get along because our signs don’t match!” What I’ve been finding is that all of the houses I like are all numbers that I think I’ll be incompatible with. For instance, one house that I really like is a 5 house on a 5 street. 5’s are typically temporary dwellings and lack direction, which are things that I don’t really need right now!

AUUGH!

All of this crap has made me come to the decision that buying a house really IS like dating online and I’ve been dating all the houses I’ve seen. It’s like I’ve been single and have been on so many bad dates, that I’ve convinced neurotic-self that there’s no “house-love” for me out there. But, there are many fish in the sea, right? I guess the saying can apply to houses too!

4/28/09

Aphex Twin - Avril 14th Guitar version

WOW! I've been away from my blog for so long, that I totally didn't realize how fucking angry my last post was. Anyway, I found this video of one of my favorite Aphex Twin songs, that was on the Marie Antoinette soundtrack. (If you haven't seen this movie, you must rent it NOW! Sophia Coppola is a genius!)

3/17/09

Laura Ingram, you are a douche!

Just when I think I don't have any more political shit to make fun of, Laura Ingram opens her mouth! I think it's hilarious that the RNC is having such a bruised ego fest, that they have to one up each other on blasting whoever speaks out about how poorly some of it's members carry themselves.

The fact that Megan McCain even had the balls to go on the Rachel Maddow show is awesome. The fact that she had the chutzpah to call Anne Coulter "offensive, radical, insulting, and confusing all at the same time" in an article for the Daily Beast AND she's McCain's daughter is compelling evidence to me that there is a bright side to the Republican party.
-despite their recent foibles. Especially when the woman knows no reason at all!

-but why this?


Listen to Laura Ingram's Comments HERE.

Frankly, I would respect more of the RNC if it were less extreme. Shit! I'd think that people would be more happy if the women who represented the RNC was less f'ing BULLDOG and more "respectable lady". Hell, wouldn't that demeanor be more freakin' Christian and CONSERVATIVE!? I understand that Megan's comments about the ladies of the RNC could be construed as personal attacks, but come on. Hitting the muffin top is like hitting below the belt when Laura Ingram responds by making fun of Megan McCain's weight. The sad thing is that it's upsetting, but not surprising. You can't taunt an attack dog an expect to not get bit!

3/15/09

Jumpy Wedding Photo Wednesday - Cute Emo Jumpy Deux



Click HERE for the original image.


Click HERE for the original image.

http://jumpyweddingphotowednesday.blogspot.com/

3/12/09

Fat-tacular!

Most people have a few groupings of foods that they won't eat. I on the other hand, belong to the "eatusallyoucanuntilyougetreallyfullious" breed of people, which usually doesn't discriminate food-wise! Although, I don't think I love food that much to EVER consume anything of this fat magnitude:


Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich


Turbaconucken


Deed Fried S’more On A Stick


Deep Fried Peanut Butter-Covered Brownie Wrapped In Cookie Dough


Mega Double Stuff Oreo

Find more of these fatteous monstrosities on thisiswhyyourefat.com.

3/11/09

Jumpy Wedding Photo Wednesday - This is not a jump


Click HERE for the original image.

-but he's thinking about it! :o)

http://jumpyweddingphotowednesday.blogspot.com/

3/10/09

Muddy Elephants and Time Travel

I've been feeling kind of stuck lately in all areas of my life. I've noticed a sharp decline in my motivation to do anything, whether it's drawing, sewing, or writing (which explains the serious lack of posts!). As I've written before, when I'm struggling with something, my brain often gives me a sharp kick in the face in the form of a crazy symbolic dream.

Last night, I got another kick in the face. Here's what I dreamt:

Pat and I were in a different time frame, back in our college years (man, that makes us sound really fuckin' old!). I guess that we kind of knew that we were just re-visiting a time period, because we both thought we were in an odd situation. The even weirder thing was that we were driving around in my Scion and it was some kind of weird time machine that could change shape! When we got out of the car, it would shrink down to be small enough to fit in our pockets. Then sometimes we'd be driving inside a building, through hallways and when we were too big to go through, we'd tell the car to shrink itself, and magically we'd fit!

At some point of the dream, we had come to an intersection where there was a lot of commotion. It was really dark out and some elephants had escaped from the circus. Every single one of them, even the little baby elephant was trapped and smothered in mud. Even though there were a lot of people around to help them, they seemed really hopeless.

That image alone was the one that stuck with me the most when I woke up. I found some interesting insight in the Dream Dictionaries that I looked up.

Elephant
To see an elephant in your dream, signifies that you are laying a solid groundwork for wealth and success. You hold a position of honour and dignity. If the elephant was wild or untamed, than it indicates tyranny and uncontrollable forces. To see many elephants in your dream, symbolizes tremendous prosperity, strength, power, memory, and intellect. Elephants also possess an introverted nature which may describe your personality. To dream that you are feeding an elephant, denotes that you will elevate yourself in your community through your kindness. To dream that you are riding on the elephant, signifies good news from afar and your future travel plans will be fruitful. But to dream that you fell off while riding it, signifies that enemies are looking to harm you.

Mud
-To dream that you walk in mud, denotes that you will have cause to lose confidence in friendships, and there will be losses and disturbances in family circles. To see others walking in mud, ugly rumors will reach you of some friend or employee. To the farmer, this dream is significant of short crops and unsatisfactory gains from stock. To see mud on your clothing, your reputation is being assailed. To scrape it off, signifies that you will escape the calumny of enemies.
-Plans or conditions obscured by mud or muddied waters indicate emotional indecision. Solutions or new directions may become clear by washing away mud from shoes or a roadway.
-You or your car being stuck in the mud can represent feeling unable to make progress or make changes in your life, or feeling stuck in a certain situation, or feeling that you're "stuck in a rut" somehow.


College

To dream that you are in college, indicates that you are going through some social or cultural changes. It also suggests that now is a good time for you to experiment and try new things. If you had gone to college in your past, then also consider your personal experiences and memories of your college days. However, if you are currently in college, then it may be a reflection of your current surroundings. It may also represent stress.


Shit! That's a lot to think about!